I Am Not The Girl You Will Marry

It is never wrong to love.

Thought Catalog

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When you know you’re not the one they’re going to marry, it may not be because you got into a fight and broke up and you’ll never see each other again. It may not happen in the middle of plans to marry one another, it won’t happen after the engagement, when you’re picking out colors and flowers and invitations. Most frequently, it will happen in the quiet moments of the morning, or when you look up at the person sitting across from you at dinner, or when you lie awake in bed at night and realize your thoughts aren’t about them and that one day, this will end. It’s a very soft, very small voice that tells you, “this isn’t ‘the one’,” whatever ‘the one’ means to you, but it’s few people that listen to it before they end up letting their ignorance wreck them.

It will be bittersweet…

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I Miss You, And I Never Even Had You

Thought Catalog

I woke up thinking of you this morning. I sat still in my bed, trying not to fully cross the barrier from “dreaming” to “awake.” I listened to sad, longing music, all about missing someone — but always someone they had once loved. What is the word for missing someone, for knowing there is something missing from you because they are not there, when you have never had them to begin with? Does that word exist?

You touched my hand. I don’t think you know you did, but I felt it. I felt one finger, then two, run against mine when you walked past me, and I counted the seconds in my head until I could no longer feel my skin burning with you. It’s little things like this that I miss, the tiny bits that make up a whole imagined life, something we could have had, if we were…

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Aside

There’s a fire inside me that makes me wanna go to the #MillionPeopleMarch, but I just can’t.

If I’ll go to the #MillionPeopleMarch, I won’t be able to work in our shoot for our Geol project today. If that will happen, surely my groupmates will grade me very low, and my grades will be lower than what will it be when I go to our shoot. But I know that my Geol 11 grade is less less significant than that march. It’s history.

If I’ll go to the #MillionPeopleMarch, everyone in the family will be against me going there. I know that they’re so afraid of what can happen to me. They realize, a bit, of the value of this march. They just complain and complain. They react, but they don’t act. But what can they do if I’m already there? 

It is clear that I can go there, that I SHOULD and I MUST. I feel the raging desire of a Filipino to go there. But here I am again, going only up to the verge of doing things. I’m also afraid of what will happen to me. I don’t react, and I also don’t act. Am I a true Filipina? a true Iska? Look, I even use English in writing this. I don’t feel like an Iska. I don’t really feel UP. I can’t find myself.

Shoe–Biz-arre

Foot wears are essential, especially to women. Ladies have many of them because each shoes has its own use or suitability. I only have five kinds: slippers, ballerina flats, sandals, rubber shoes, and pumps. When buying, I consider the shoes’ price, durability, the frequency of usage, and its level of comfort which I prioritize the most. Among my foot wears, my slippers are the cheapest but I use my ballerina flats more often than I use it. My ballerina flats are convenient and it’s more comfortable than my sandals because my sandals are the least comfortable of them all. Just one step higher to my sandals in the ladder of comfort are my pumps. My pair of pumps is an investment because I rarely use it and it’s quite expensive. However, my rubber shoes are still more expensive than my pumps because they are the most expensive among them! As expected, they are the most durable as well. Moreover, they’re the most comfortable for me and I use them very often.